Some say she is able to fly, but only backwards, and that she is able to do so by forming relativity clouds through

discrete holes underneath her chin, and removing her left forearm to reveal a miniature propeller.

Others say she 'just' went sky diving. But if that's the case, then where is her left forearm in this picture? This is perhaps the most convincing evidence yet that Fran can in fact fly. Many people believe she wears a hat made from sheep's wool whilst in the air, not for comfort or to keep her warm, but because she thinks it's fun.

        Fran is a unique 'girl', and should you ever be fortunate enough to meet her, then you will undoubtedly realise that she is a fun-loving, caring person, who is always up for a laugh. However, you must never mention the word 'razzmatazz' within hearing distance, as scientists believe it would make her head fall off.

Things have not always been easy for little Fran, who was born at just 14cm tall. And as a boy.

But not to worry, she is post-op now, and bar the blatant stubble and hairy arms, you would never even know she has undergone a sex change.

Things went from bad to worse when she lost her son, Kensei, in August 2002.

Kensei is still missing, but in the face of these dark times, Fran remains upbeat and always has a smile on her

face - although some say she's not upset about Kensei because SHE MURDERED HIM. But I'm sure that's not true.

Also, she's really cool, and if you think otherwise then PUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!